There are so many people who have chosen to not be my friend simply because I can be too positive.
I have been called naive and immature for not following the herd so many times that I lost count. I truly believe that fact alone is what pushed me into depression shortly after entering vocational school. It wasn’t until much later that I realized the complete need for balance.
I tend to be more of a private person. I keep people at arms length until I completely know them. Call it lack of trust if you’d like, but I also think a huge part of it is that I am a people lover. That may sound contradictory so let me explain.
I am a very emapathetic person (I think of myself as an empath). This leads me to be a very “wear your heart on your sleeve” type of person. Over the years I’ve come to learn that this can be very overwhelming for some people. Anyone who truly knows me knows I am super bubbly and can talk your ear off.
As I’ve grown I’ve taken a step back and tried to become more of an observer. People fascinate me! The psyche in general is such a powerful thing. Keeping people at arms length is my way of not oversharing, but also allowing me the chance to get to know people. I slow down and listen to what they’re actually saying before jumping to conclusions. It’s my way of maintaining interpersonal balance.
Growing up one of the lessons my mom taught me was about taking turns.
Specifically taking turns going to friends houses. I go to your house then you come to mine. When I was younger I hated this. Now I understand that it taught me to not give to people who weren’t willing to give back. This doesn’t always work out in my adult life, but it does to this day help me achieve balance.
Yin and yang is the ultimate symbol of balance.
Without darkness there can be no light and vice versa. Until we can accept the darkness in ourselves we cannot accept the light in others. Darkness being negativity and light being positivity, obviously.
This theory works on multiple levels. In my own life I apply it to anxiety and depression. Once I accept that I am, in fact, anxious, I can focus on why. Some people have problems with this method. The idea of wrapping your head around such negativity can be daunting.
The biggest issue I have when explaining the acceptance of anxiety and depression is the fear of complacency. If you fully accept flaws won’t you become complacent with them? The answer can be yes, but if you focus on your why it will most likely be no. You aren’t going to manifest negativity by accepting it.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Strength To Love, 1963
If you are grateful for the struggles you have faced in your life what you manifest is the complete opposite.
It’s like a scale. Say the left is negative and the right is positive. If you are grateful for negative times because they make you a better person during positive times, the scale balances itself out.
Admitting you have had hard times recognizes that you have also had good times. More often than not, those good times are more enjoyable because you were strengthened in your perserverance. Acknowledging growth and strength, especially thru being grateful, manifests more growth and strength.
Life is not a sprint.
Think of life as running a marathon. I know it may be hard, I myself am not a runner, but bear with me. You start out with excitement and energy but somewhere down the line you get tired. That’s why you have to pace yourself. If you are grateful for every step, whether it’s filled with excitement or exhaustion, you are more likely to reach the finish line feeling more accomplished. Balance is focusing on where you will be once you are finished, while still being grateful that you are there in the first place.
My husband tends to be a “glass half empty” type of person. I myself am a “glass half full” girl. While this does cause some confusion in communication, we like to say he keeps me safe, I keep him wild. It creates a yin and yang affect. I am thankful that I went thru heartache before I met my him. It makes me realize and appreciate what an awesome man he is. Even when we argue, or he puts my favorite bra in the dryer and it gets ruined, I’m thankful because none of that would be possible without the honeymoon phase that started our relationship.
Remembering to be grateful during hard times takes a lot of practice. You will get people who don’t understand your constant positivity. Fortuantely for you, they don’t live your life. You do. In ten years from now when you’ve manifested the positivity into the life of your dreams you will have a tribe of people around you who have the same mindset. They will keep you in check and remind you that life is all about balance.